I Stopped Shopping for Over 2 Years – Here’s What Happened

So I decided to take a break. A detox. Here’s what happens when you stop shopping for 2 years.

Full Disclosure

When I say I stopped shopping, I still bought things I truly needed – like bigger pants. But my excessive shopping habits were definitely tied to my identity of being “successful,” being a “high-caliber woman.” We’ve internalized that always wearing new outfits equals success. It’s a status marker.

Detaching from that has been difficult. I don’t want to sugarcoat it and say “Oh, it’s been so liberating! Let’s go minimalism!” No. I definitely don’t want to do minimalism. The objective was never going to the complete opposite extreme. I like balance. But I needed this break to redefine my “level up” and call myself out on bad habits.

The Reality Check

What surprised me most was how it affected my self-image. I’ve worked a lot on confidence over the years. But there are weak parts even to my confidence, and this was a necessary reality check.

I realized I shopped because it made me feel more valuable – like I’d achieved success. Having a big wardrobe comes with playing in a certain field. If you don’t have one, it almost feels like something’s wrong with you. I know this sounds bizarre, but I know I’m not the only one thinking like this.

We don’t realize that as women, we often use shopping habits as status and identity signaling. It’s almost taboo to admit you put self-worth into external measures like clothes and handbags. A little embarrassing. But I’m sharing this because I think it’s normal – we’ve been conditioned to this. Some of us are more insecure than others. Maybe I was. I’m not judging myself for that.

The VIP Status Disappeared

When you spend a lot with brands, you get VIP status, perks, event invitations, a personal shopper on WhatsApp building a relationship with you. When you stop shopping? That VIP status disappears. You’re no longer interesting to them.

In the midst of it, you know it’s transactional, but you tell yourself it’s also real and fabulous. Until you realize it’s not. You don’t matter to them – just your money did.

I had moments thinking: Am I doing the right thing? Maybe it was better to be part of that game, even if it was fake. But then I caught myself: Do I really want to play fake games? Is this really me?

Sometimes for your ego, it’s easier to be in denial. Easier to pretend that sales assistant really likes you. But I’ve been practicing honesty with myself. Facing the truth is hard, but necessary.

The Content Creator Dilemma

I was definitely justifying shopping habits based on my work. When I stopped, I realized I didn’t have interesting content to post. No new cute outfit pictures. Some people unsubscribed because I wasn’t doing the usual thing anymore – which is fair.

But I had to stay true to myself. I enjoy aesthetics and style tips, but I don’t want to be just “the outfit girl.” A little outfit picture once in a while, sure. But not my main thing.

When you’re transitioning and your mind plays tricks, you need that internal dialogue to ground yourself. It’s SO tempting to go back to past behaviours, especially if they worked.

The Outfit Repeating Shame

Why is seeing someone in the same outfit still kind of… a minus? It doesn’t feel aspirational seeing a person in the same clothes, right? Be honest.

I had moments of self-doubt. “Am I a loser? I’m repeating this outfit for the 50th time.” Stupid thoughts. But that’s when I told myself: You’re defining your value through external measures. You’ve been conditioned to do that, operating on autopilot. Become aware. Snap out of it. It’s just a mindset thing.

Testing My Confidence

During this break, I would sometimes dress super low-key to understand: Am I attaching my self-worth to my aesthetic? If I don’t look expensive or elegant, do I feel less of myself without that external validation?

I’ve spoken about not wanting to rely on “fake confidence” as a crutch. It’s important to cultivate deep inner confidence that has nothing to do with external metrics. Nothing wrong with a confidence boost sometimes – but relying on it long-term instead of cultivating REAL confidence? That’s my concern.

And look – there were moments I realized I HAD been relying on fake confidence, thinking I was fully confident when I wasn’t. That gave me good insight into what I need to work on.

What I Learned

Dressing low-key, I really felt how energizing clothes can be. Without that energy, I felt uninspired, less mojo. So clothes DO matter – but mindfully.